I've been doing a Bible study called One in a Million by Priscilla Shirer. It has caused me to really start looking at my life...my relationships, my blessings, my walk with God. It's mostly been encouraging, as I see how far I've come with God, but sometimes convicting. As I take stock of my life, I can't help but think of It's a Wonderful Life. This movie shaped a significant portion of my world view. I watched it every year at Christmas time...I still do. I love it when George Bailey puts Mr. Potter in his place and calls him a scurvy little spider. I love the wise, if awkward angel, Clarence. It's his words that I've been thinking about mostly lately. "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"
My life has certainly been touched by so many people in such a powerful way. I know looking back that God sent each of them into my life at a specific time for a specific purpose. Early on, there was my mom...so strong and resilient, and my grandparents...they taught me to put God first in everything, and countless others...aunts, uncles, teachers, and friends. They all made a profound impact on me. And then, there was Aidan...sent to me at a very dark time in my life, when I was far away from God and my heart was so sad. Aidan, this precious little boy, was God's grace that I could hold in my arms. He taught me about unconditional love. He was sent to rescue me from myself. Next, was Mark...he was sent to heal all my hurts and insecurities. And then, there was Ella. I can hardly speak her name without smiling and laughing. She was sent to teach me about the abundant life God offers. She is pure joy in the cutest little package you've ever seen. Getting her here was difficult...I had trouble getting pregnant with her, and then the pregnancy was HORRIBLE. Even in this, God showed his provision for us by sending good friends to help all along the way. They prayed with me when I was scared that I would lose Ella. They cooked us dinner every night while I was on bed rest. They cleaned our house and baby sat Aidan. More people...touching our lives in a special way.
We literally had NO money when I was pregnant with Ella, a very scary prospect with a baby on the way. But, once again, God was faithful. When we found out she was a girl, I panicked...girls need clothes and clothes cost money. On the way home from the sonogram, I whispered a prayer and decided in my heart to trust God with providing for our little girl. We did not make it home before a friend called to tell us they were getting rid of all their girls' baby clothes and we could have them if we wanted them. Bags and bags of the cutest clothes you've ever seen, enough to last for the first year...all provided because some dear friends allowed God to use them that day. Another friend helped me paint her nursery. Another friend gave me a baby shower. More friends gave me a diaper shower...I received enough diapers to last me the first 8 months or longer! One Saturday night, towards the end of my pregnancy, I took inventory of what we still needed for Ella's nursery. I put a curtain down on my list, and knew we couldn't afford it. I told myself a curtain was a want, not a need and God would provide our needs. Well, God apparently had other ideas because the next day at church another friend approached me, and I'm not kidding, said, "I want to make a curtain for Ella's room"...I had not told anyone we needed a curtain! The curtain is adorable and always reminds me that God wants to provide lavishly for us...not just the bare minimum. I could go on and on and on.
I learned a lot about God through that experience. In fact, I have yet had to buy Ella a single stitch of clothing. Just this weekend, a friend gave me 3 large bags of clothes, and we are set for at least another year! I laughed out loud as I went through them. I told my husband that God was just showing off now. I now fully understand the verse about giving that says, "Give and it will be given to you, A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap." Ella's clothes had to be pressed together to fit into her closet, which is now running over with clothes.
I want to be like the friends and family that touched my life in this time. I want to be like George Bailey, the richest man in town. In this season of my life, I don't have the time or resources to start a large ministry. But, I want to be available to God to use in these small but meaningful ways. I want to touch those lives around me and leave them better than before. I want to do it as an offering of praise and gratitude to the God who has never abandoned me and has been exceedingly gracious and generous with me. He is a good Father, and I want to be like Him. It is a Wonderful Life and "no man is a failure who has friends."
