Snips, Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

I never knew it was possible to love a little boy so much.  I always imagined myself having girls.  I had plenty of tomboy experiences as a kid...with a big brother I did my share of playing baseball and war, GI Joe and even truck drivers.  I went fishing frequently, and even (I'm proud to say) baited my own hook!  But, what I loved most was playing with my baby dolls and my Barbies, teaching school to my stuffed animals.  One of my happiest days was when we moved into our new house and I got my own room.  I loved the pink and white wall paper and the yellow curtains.  It was girly and I loved it.  So, how is it that I now live for moments spent with a little boy who loves rocks and guns, heroes and bad guys, bugs, dirt, and--if you need further proof of my love--snakes!?  I cherish the moments we spend together just hanging out...those all too rare moments when I don't have to parent him or discipline him...when we're just being together, talking about silly little boy things.  I love those times of simple, sweet, easy relationship.  I wonder if God feels that way too.  Does he live for those moments when we just want to be with him?  When we're not trying to force our own way or hide or complain or question?  Does he, like me, love those moments when we're simply content to be in his presence?

Aidan will be starting first grade next week.  I have to admit, I'm not handling it well.  For the first time, he will be gone all day, five days a week, and I am going to miss him.  Gone are the days of hanging out all day together...going swimming, or to the zoo, or wherever else we could think of, while the rest of the world was at work or school.  It felt a little like we were cheating the system.  How the years have flown!  Surely he can't be almost 7 years old.  

I know he'll do great at school.  He makes friends easily, and his teachers will love him.  He's a lovable kid and a quick learner.  I know he will be successful.  I'm excited for him as he moves into this new stage.  I look forward to field trips and class parties and all the new friends he'll make.  But, there's a part of me (a selfish part) that wants to keep him all to myself.  He's my boy and frankly, sometimes, I don't want him to grow up.  But I know in my soul that God gave him to me for this purpose--to train him to go out into the world.  My job is to teach him to leave.  He's not really mine.  He belongs to God, and I've been given the privilege of helping him discover his purpose, and unfortunately, his purpose is probably not to hang out with his mom all week!  

So, next week, I'll send him off to school, but I'll think about him and pray for him all day.  From now on, I'll say yes to more ice cream cones, read more bed time stories, make more cookies together (even though it totally blows my diet!) and snuggle a little longer each night.  I'll do my best to simply be present with him more often--to really be engaged and not worried about my ever present to-do list.  I'll even let him stay for an hour at the snake exhibit at the zoo...whatever it takes to show this little boy that this girl is head over heels for him.