God's Economy

I went to my grandmother's house today for the first time since she moved to a nursing home.  It was so weird to pull up there and know she wasn't there.  As soon as I rounded the curve and saw her mailbox I got a little choked up.  As I walked up to the front door, tears stung my eyes...it was locked.  If she was there, it would have been open, and I would be able to see her through the screen, because she would be waiting for me.  We were looking through some of her things, reminiscing, and it was such an odd feeling.  These were her things, her jewelry, her pictures, her decorations...things she loved and chose for herself.  And now they sit. It reminded me of when my other grandmother was sick.  She was going to move in with us, so we had a garage sale to sell a lot of her stuff.  She made several hundred dollars.  I remember the sadness in her eyes as she counted up the total at the end of the sale.  "This is all my life's belongings are worth?" she said.  It was a sad realization, and one that stuck with me...one I remembered again today.

We spend so much time and money on "stuff." We work crazy hours...hours spent away from our family...to buy stuff.  And then we work more to pay for the insurance to protect our stuff.  And then we get bigger stuff.  It consumes so much of our life...our time, our energy.  But in the end that stuff is either going to the dump, or getting sold off in a garage sale.  Sure, some things may be handed down to family...but most of it is trash or someone else's second hand treasure.  It's meaningless.

In our culture, we value hard work and striving to be the best.  I value those things too, but lately, I feel like we're all being duped.  We're spending our lives climbing ladders and accumulating stuff.  For what?  Has the American Dream been a smoke screen all along to cause us to waste our lives in meaningless pursuits?  It's not making us happy.  It's not making us healthy.  It's making us slaves...slaves to our stuff.

September is Blog Month for Compassion.  I love to use my little piece of cyber space to hopefully promote a little change.  Our first assignment for blog month is to write what we would say to our childhood self.  I've been thinking long and hard about it this week.  What is the one thing I would say to my childhood self---or to my children---or to my sponsored child?  If they were going to hear one thing, what would I want it to be?  After today, I think it would be this:

The only things that will truly last are the things you do for Eternity's sake.

Everything else is temporary and meaningless...here today and gone tomorrow.  What matters is not what you deposit in your bank account but what you deposit into the hearts of others.  Spend yourself in loving others.  Wear yourself out loving others.  Love God with all you have.  Expend every ounce of energy loving your family and those around you.  I know you have to work; we all have to eat, and hard work is a good thing.  But work as if you're working for the Lord.  Moms, love on your children like their very souls depend on it.  Make your laundry and the dishes a sacrifice of love for them.  Show love, live grace, forgive radically, love people.  Everything else is just a distraction.  Then you will be rich...not just in this life, but for all of eternity.  Work with unwavering focus at loving people.  The house, the cars, television, smart phones---all secondary.  They should all be tools that you use to love people better.  It's okay to have these things, as long as they are dedicated to the purpose of loving people.  Then, you will get to the end of your life, and the stuff won't matter, because you will be leaving a legacy of love and changed hearts, and healing and grace...which is so much more valuable than a few hundred dollars worth of stuff.

If this is resonating with you at all, can I encourage you to do one small thing to shift your focus from "stuff" to "people?"  Sponsor a child through Compassion.  What I love about this, is not only do you send money that pays for a child's food, schooling, medication, and other necessities, you write letters and build relationships with these children.  You encourage them to do well in school, to take care of themselves, to come to a personal relationship with Christ.  It is amazing what so few American dollars can do for these precious children in poverty.  Not only will you be affecting eternity for the child that you sponsor, but you and your family will be changed as well.  That's God's economy.  You invest a little and he pays outrageous dividends.  I never thought I could love a child half way across the world that I've never met.  But I do.  I love him as part of our own family.  He is constantly in my thoughts and prayers. Sponsoring one child is not going to change the world...but it can change one child's world.  And in so doing, you'll be surprised how it will change yours too.  

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.  What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?  Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

Matthew 16:24-26

For All the Single Ladies...

So, this whole mess in Ohio has been making me sick all week.  I just can't comprehend it.    And it's not just Ohio---women and little girls are victimized all over the world.  All. The. Time.  If you really want to be sad and angry, start reading about the sex trade of little girls.  Do you think this is a 3rd world problem?  Americans are the largest consumers in this trade.  Disgusting.  According to the International Rescue Committee , one in three women will suffer some kind of abuse in their life time.  That's a third of all women. I've got two little girls.  This is unacceptable.  So, what I've been trying to think about all week is, how do we fix it?  What is to be done?

Well, I'm sure all the politicians out there can think of a million ways to throw billions of dollars at this problem.  Maybe that would work, but I've learned to never wait for the government to fix anything.  Seems they can't work on a problem without creating a million more.  I'm sure we could legislate it into the ground---stiffer penalties for offenders, more laws and on and on and on.  But, you know what?  We could execute the 3 men in the Ohio case right now and it wouldn't do those women a bit of good.  It would not take away the pain they suffered.  Don't get me wrong.  I do think some changes need to be made in the laws.  I mean, one of those brothers severely abused his wife.  And I don't know all of the details, but it appears to me that he walked away from that with little to no consequence.  That's a problem.

But, what can we do?  The average, "I don't have a gazillion dollars to run for Congress" person.  There is plenty I could say to men on this subject.  For starters, if I had a captive audience of young men, I would say, "the world needs you to grow up.  Like right now.  People are suffering and God has blessed you with the strength to be their protectors and defenders.  So, turn off the video games.  Get off the couch.  Stop working on your six pack and get out there and start helping.  Stop being a part of the problem and be a man and a leader.  Stop watching movies about heroes and start being a hero."

But, since only about 3 men read my blog, and two of those are my dad and my husband...and they are already good men (hey, what do you know, if you read my blog, you have a 66% chance of being a good man) I will address the women instead. If I had to guess, I would say most of the women that read my blog are already married, and I hope the man you married is amazing.  So, please pass this on to all the single ladies you know.

Girls:  Stop marrying jerks.  Stop reproducing with jerks.  Because that jerk will be the father of your children.  And that jerk will make your little girls feel like they have to do unspeakable things to gain the favor and attention of men.  That jerk will model for your little boy how to be a jerk.  If he treats you badly, he will teach your precious little boy to treat women badly.  He will teach your little girl that they deserve to be treated badly as well.  The influence of a father, for the good or the bad, is immeasurable.

So, who do you marry?  I'm no expert here, but I've done it the wrong way, and I've done it the right way, and this is what I've learned.

1. Marry a man that respects his mother.  Not just loves her, but respects her...treats her with respect, no matter what.
2. Marry a man that wants to please God above all else.  The man that wants to please God will know that he must be willing to lay down his life for his wife.
3. If a man yells at you, intimidates you, belittles you in anyway, dump him.  Did you hear me?  Dump him, do not marry him.  There is no excuse.
4.  If a man utters the words, "boys will be boys," or you find yourself uttering these words to excuse a behavior in a man, dump him.  Boys will be boys, but you're not marrying a "boy" (hopefully).  And you don't want a "boy" helping you raise a family.  Dump him and find a man.  Because our culture has been telling us for a long time now that boys will be boys and sleep around, look at pornography, go to strip clubs, etc.  Like they can't help it or something.  Yes they can.  This is a lie that we have been buying into for far too long.  You need a man that can practice some self control.  Furthermore, you're going to have kids someday and you need a man that will stand in the gap for your sons and encourage them to be pure...to turn their eyes from all the filth in this world.  Trust me---no matter how cute or cool he is, don't tolerate this behavior. Dump him.
5.  Marry a servant leader.  Think about Jesus.  He possessed all the power in the universe and could have made anyone do anything he wanted them to do.  But what did he do?  He healed.  He loved children.  He washed feet.  His heart was broken by the suffering of others.  He reached out to those no one else was willing to be near.  He loved.  We have got to change what our image of manhood looks like.  It is not weak to serve others.  If you are dating a man who talks/thinks only about himself...never concerned with lifting others up, dump him.
6.  When you are considering marrying someone, ask yourself, "If they never change from who they are today, will I be okay with that?"  Marrying you will not change someone's character.  I know you are amazing, but marrying you will not change someone's character.

I don't mean to sound harsh or unforgiving.  There is no perfect man, so of course you have to be willing to overlook some flaws.  But, let's overlook flaws like:  "he leaves his dirty socks on the floor", or "he's a little overly obsessed with baseball."  Let's stop overlooking flaws like: "he treats me like dirt," or "he makes me feel bad about myself."  Come on ladies.  Let's up our standards.  I promise you there are good men out there.  Don't get in a hurry.  If we start setting our expectations a little higher, men will learn real quick that they've got to step up or be alone.  Otherwise, they're going to keep getting away with it.  And maybe, just maybe, in a generation or two we will find that all the sick/twisted/abusive men have died sad and alone.  Maybe we can raise a generation of real men and help end the cycle of abuse.  We can at least make that stand for our own family and our own children.  I pray that we will.  For the sake of my little girls.

Easter Cookies---again

I posted this recipe a few years ago.  It has become one of our favorite family traditions.  We do this the night before Easter.  I thought it was worth re-posting.  :)

Ingredients:
1 c. whole pecans (or chocolate chips if you don't like nuts)
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
a pinch of salt
1 c. sugar
a zipper baggy
1 wooden spoon
scotch tape
Bible

**Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F.  This is very important to do before you make the cookies.  It will not work if you wait until you are half way done with the recipe.
1. Place the pecans in the zipper baggy.  Let the children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces.  Explain that after Jesus was arrested he was beaten by the Roman soldiers.  Read:  John 19: 1-3

2. Let each child smell the vinegar.  Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl.  Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross He was given vinegar to drink.  Read John 19:28-30

3. Add egg whites to vinegar.  Eggs represent life.  Explain that Jesus gave his life to give us life.  Read: John 10: 10-11

4. Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand.  Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl.  Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.  Read Luke 23:27.

5. So far the ingredients are not very appetizing.  Add 1 cup sugar.  Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because he loves us.  He wants us to know and belong to Him.  Read Psalm 34:8 and John 3:16.

6. Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12-15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed.  Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.  Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3.

7.  Fold in broken nuts.  Drop by teaspoon onto waxed paper covered cookie sheet.  Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.  Read Matthew 27: 57-60.

8.  Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.

9.  Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door.  Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.  Read:  Matthew 27: 65-66

10.  Go to Bed!  Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight.  Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.  Read John 16: 20-22

11.  On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie.  Notice the cracked surface and take a bite.  The cookies are hollow!  On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.  Read Matthew 28:1-9

Metamorphosis

I've been thinking a lot about caterpillars lately.  Aidan and I have been studying them in school.  Of course, I already knew that caterpillars make a chrysalis and inside that chrysalis they change into a butterfly.  I've always found it fascinating.  More than once, we've purchased caterpillars for the kids so we could watch this amazing transformation take place. What I didn't know, is what happens inside that chrysalis.  I didn't know that in order to become a butterfly, the caterpillar spins a chrysalis and then dissolves into nothing but goo.  And by a process that no one fully understands, this goo becomes a butterfly.  It is the same being that went into the chrysalis, but it is made completely new and has a new purpose.  Everything it did as a caterpillar, was all in preparation for what it would one day become.

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, a new creation has come:  the old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

I've been wondering about that caterpillar...dissolving into goo.  What must that be like?  Is it painful to dissolve into goo?  Does the caterpillar have any kind of understanding of what it is going to become?  I am in awe of this process.  What an amazing thing this is.  This dissolving and becoming new.  You have to wonder why God didn't just make a baby butterfly look like a little butterfly...why all this dissolving, and goo, and being made new.

I can't stop thinking about these caterpillars...how they feed on leaves and gorge themselves to the point of bursting, and then one day they just stop.  And they wrap themselves in a chrysalis, and they dissolve into goo.

I can't stop thinking about caterpillars because I feel like that sometimes...I feel like I'm dissolving.  My wants, my needs, my ravenous desires for what this world has to offer...I can sometimes feel it...right in the center of my being...dissolving.  And, it's not always fun.  Sometimes it's painful.  And, I wonder, is it painful for the caterpillar too?  Does the caterpillar resist?  Does he just want to stay as he is?  Or does he get sick of crawling around munching on leaves?  Does he innately know he was made to be so much more?

I feel like since I started walking with God I've been in a chrysalis, dissolving...He just loves me too much to leave well enough alone.  My grip on all the things I think I need...dissolving.  Selfishness...dissolving.  A critical spirit...dissolving.  My plans, my ideas about how things should go, my control...dissolving.  I don't always like all this dissolving.  If I'm honest, sometimes, I just want to be left alone for a while.  Caterpillars are cute, right?

Did you know, that unless a caterpillar turns into a butterfly it can't reproduce?  So, if it doesn't go into that chrysalis...if it doesn't dissolve...it will die a caterpillar.  It won't make more caterpillars, it won't pollinate flowers so they can reproduce...it will leave nothing behind.  If it doesn't get into that chrysalis and dissolve, it will accomplish nothing that it was created to do.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

So, maybe that's why God made caterpillars, instead of baby butterflies.  To remind us about metamorphosis...about becoming new.  Caterpillars are cute, but butterflies are glorious, and they have a purpose.  Maybe he wanted us to know that dissolving is not pretty, but it is necessary.  We must die to our old self to become something new and glorious and useful.  This constant dissolving, the constant submitting of our will, this focusing on things unseen instead of what is right in front of us...is all accomplishing something in us, and in God's kingdom.  He loves us too much to let us be caterpillars when he created us to be butterflies.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.   The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  Galatians 2:20

It's About Giving

Without a doubt, Christmas is the best time of year.  If you ask my kids, they will tell you it is the best time of year because of the gifts.  Now, if Mark raised his eyebrows or if I crinkled my forehead, they may remember to dutifully say it's the best time of year because it is when we celebrate Jesus' birth.  But, I know they really love the gifts.  And that's okay.  Who doesn't enjoy getting gifts...a surprise under the tree...the anticipation for days and days of what Santa will bring.  I love that too.  I think you have to know how good it feels to get a much needed or wanted gift before you can fully understand the joy of giving a much needed and wanted gift. 

But, what I really love about this time of year is the giving.  And not just the giving of gifts, but the giving of time and resources as well.  I love how people go out of their way to decorate their yards...all to delight the children, and neighbors and anyone else that happens to drive down the street.  I love how people shop for just the right gift to make someone else happy.  I love how we are all out shopping, trying to find the gift that will make the recipient feel loved and special.  We give gifts of gratitude to teachers, postal workers, co-workers and neighbors.  What makes this time of year special, is that we all spend so much time thinking about how to make the holidays special for someone else.  What if we always spent that much time trying to make things special for other people?

It's about giving...and that is why we have such fond memories and special attachment to this time of year.

We're never more Christ-like than when we're giving. The very purpose of His entire life, was to ultimately, give it away.  He stored up nothing for himself in this life--no home, no riches, no children, nothing.  He gave it all up to fulfill his purpose and give us eternal life. 

When we give, we are reflecting the heart of God.  But, where we are happy to give out of our excess---what is left over after we have everything we want and need---God gives us his all, "For God so loved the world that he gave his only son..." (John 3:16).  We are happy to give if we feel like the recipient deserves it, God gave to us even when we don't deserve it:  "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)  Fortunately for us, he didn't wait for us to get our lives together.  God gives good and perfect gifts all the time.  And as Christ followers, we should try to emulate him, at all times of the year.

Are you looking for a good litmus test of where you are in your walk with God?  How giving are you?  When we are where we should be with God, we give...without counting the cost.  When we fully understand who is backing us, and who has given us everything we have, we can't help but be cheerful...hilarious...givers.  We can give without fear, because we know that we can't out-give God.  We know that the more we give...of our money, our time, ourselves, the more God fills us back up.
"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."

So, this Christmas, my hope for you is that you do find that perfect gift for those special people in your life.  I hope their eyes light up on Christmas morning; I hope your kids squeal with delight and fully enjoy the magic of Christmas.  And I hope that they understand that the magic of Christmas is giving.

But, I also hope that you remember, while your children are dreaming of sugarplums and video games, somewhere there is a mother crying out to God for someone to help her children before they starve.  While you are covering your house in enough lights to make Clark Griswold proud, there is a father somewhere hoping that he can figure out how he's going to afford to send his children to school and buy them clothes.  While we are fretting about the 3 or 4 holiday pounds we're going to gain, there is a child that can't sleep because they're hungry, really hungry.

And now, so that I don't completely ruin your holiday, I'm going to tell you what you can do about it.  Because, those prayers that they're praying??  We're the answer to them.  God has blessed US.  So, this Christmas, sit down with your family and take a little time to browse through the Compassion catalog.  Maybe buy a few less Christmas cookies and spend that money on something that can change the life of someone living in poverty.  There are enough options in this catalog that families with all different budgets can help.  Teach your children how good it feels to give.  #itsAboutGiving

Make this the Merriest Christmas yet!!

Homeschool

Wow!  What a crazy, awesome week this has been.  We started homeschooling for the first time on Tuesday.  Aidan is in 4th grade, and I am doing preschool with Ella.  I don't know who learned more this week, me or the kids.  I learned so much about them...their learning styles, what they already know and about myself...my teaching style, my strengths, my weaknesses.  It has, at times, been great, amazing, scary, frustrating, and exhausting.  But, overall, I am really excited that we're doing this.  I've already figured out some things I'm going to keep doing, and some things that just don't work. 

I have had to constantly keep in mind my reasons for doing this.  Lots of people ask me, "so, why are you homeschooling?"  And, I never know what to say.  A lot of people home school because their kids are not flourishing in public school.  Aidan did great in school.  A lot of people home school because they worry about the influence of other kids at school.  This was certainly a concern of ours, but mostly those experiences have been great teachable moments about why we have the values we have, why we believe what we believe and what it means to be in the world, not of it.  I'm sure there are tons of other reasons too...but none of the typical responses matched up with what prompted me to make this decision.

I guess the short answer would be, God asked me to.  As third grade progressed, there were many times I felt God prompting me that it was time for Aidan to come home.  The long answer would be...
1. I want to reignite Aidan's natural curiosity about the world and excitement about learning.  School had turned this into drudgery.
2. I want to integrate our values and our faith into everything Aidan does...instead of having it compartmentalized into "school," "church," etc.
3.  I want to expose Aidan to a great variety of experiences so that he can discover what his gifts are, what his passions are and what God has for him to do.

So, this week, I had to check my "public school teacher" self at the door.  I had to work hard to find that perfect balance between high standards (Aidan seriously acted like I had 2 heads for demanding correct capitalization, punctuation and spelling!) and keeping it fun and engaging.  And all the while, I had to balance this with feeding the baby, working with the 4 year old, doing laundry/dishes/cleaning/meal prep, etc.  Wow!  It's a lot...but it's working, and it's amazing.

My greatest gift this week...hearing my kids encourage each other in their work, watching them make up games and play them during our "recesses," and spending lots of quality time together.  Don't get me wrong...they also had moments of fighting like cats and dogs, making unbelievable messes, etc.  But, let's not dwell on that.  :)

The kids even came up with a "school" mascot...we are the Jaguars.  We have a little stuffed jaguar that does school with us and will go on all of our adventures with us.  Speaking of adventures...I joked with a friend last week that I am like a teacher on speed...this is what we have coming up in the next 2 weeks:  making a paper mache model of the earth, making a salt map depicting the regions of Texas, visiting the Texas wild exhibit at the zoo, Baseball camp, Farm camp, writing letters to Major League Baseball teams (and hoping they send us some free goodies), a tour of Ranger Ballpark, and possibly a camping trip to Gonzales to see a reenactment of the battle that started the Texas Revolution. 

Just writing that makes me want to go to bed.  Pray for energy and stamina for me!

First Day of School :)

Amazing

I was reading a story in Luke during my quiet time last week.  It's the one about the centurion who wants Jesus to heal his servant.  He was a man of power.  The elders of the Jews told Jesus, "This man deserves to have you do this, because he loves our nation and has built our synagogue."  But, the centurion wouldn't even let Jesus come into his house.  "Lord, don't trouble yourself, for I do not deserve to have you come under my roof.  That is why I did not even consider myself worthy to come to you.  But say the word, and my servant will be healed."  A man of power and influence...yet, he knew.  He knew his place.  And then, there was this verse, which I haven't been able to get out of my mind this week:

"When Jesus heard this, he was amazed at him, and turning to the crowd following him, he said, "I tell you, I have not found such great faith even in Israel." (Luke 7:9...emphasis mine).

He was amazed at him.  Jesus was amazed.  The son of God, creator of the universe, savior of mankind was amazed.  I love that.  I wonder if he's ever amazed at me?  Does my faith ever amaze him? 

I hope so.  Because He amazes me every day.

This Morning.  Amazing.



For Those with Human Mothers

Maybe it's because my third baby was born 9 years after my first...almost a decade...but mothering Anna has had me thinking a lot about those first few months mothering Aidan.  Maybe it's because I've grown up so much since then, learned so much that I didn't know then...about myself, about God, about mothering.  Maybe it's because she reminds me of him.  I don't know why, but I find myself hoping...hoping that I loved on him enough, that I cherished those fleeting baby months enough.  Hoping that I was patient enough, that I kissed his cheeks enough, rocked him enough.  How I'd love to hold him as a baby just one more time.  I was single then and spent most of my days terrified, wondering how we were going to make it from one month to the next.  My faith was small then.  As usual, God was still faithful.  I just wish I'd realized it more.  Hindsight.  I worried a lot.  About bills, and diapers and groceries and who would teach him to be a man...a good man.  I hope I didn't rush him too much in my fear.  I hope I loved him well.  Why God chose to bless me with Aidan, when I was such a mess of fear and dysfunction, and insecurity I'll never know.  Maybe it's because I have something unique to offer Aidan on his journey.  Maybe it was for all the things Aidan would teach me...about forgiveness, about God's love, about grace. 

Mothering is hard.  But not for the reasons we all think of...the endless dishes, and laundry, the sleepless nights...it's hard work for sure, but it's also just hard.  There's no help, no way to know if you're getting it right.  You don't know if you've gotten it right until it's too late to change it if you didn't.  If you're reading this, then your mother is human, and if your mother is human, she made mistakes.  Just like I'll make mistakes...and have already.  And, as much as I'd like to take them back...to go back and do a few things differently...to react differently, to have more patience, to enjoy it more, I can't.  So much of this is just a shot in the dark.  What if I'm doing this all wrong?  What if they resent that we sacrificed so much for me to be home with them?  What if they can't forgive me for not letting them participate in most of the culture that surrounds us?  What if I haven't taught them enough responsibility or self-discipline?  What if they wish I had let them play more sports?  Or less?  Have I equipped them for the marriages they'll some day have?  Have I taught them how to use money?  How to love people?  It's hard and scary, and we only get one shot at it, and there are no do overs. 

When I said, “My foot is slipping, ”
your unfailing love, Lord, supported me.
 When anxiety was great within me,
your consolation brought me joy. Psalm 94:18-19

Thankfully, when the anxiety rises, that still, small voice breaks through.  I am not alone in this.  There is ONE who knows.  The one who created my children-the one who died for them-the one who in His wisdom, saw fit to give them to me--he speaks to me.  He helps me navigate all this.  And, if I'm listening, what he's telling me is to teach them grace.  To teach them how fallen we all are...even the "best" of us.  To teach them how desperate we are for a savior, and to teach them that this savior has come.  Not only for me...their very human, very inept mother...but for them...for all of us.  Above all else, I am to teach them this gospel story that we are all a part of...while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  And while I was still human, and still a sinner, God called me to participate in the divine...to pass this gospel down to these 3 little souls that live in my home and call me mommy. 

It is my greatest calling.  And it shakes me to my very core to think I may not do it right.  So, I cling to Him.  I hold on for dear life.  I need Him...his grace, his forgiveness.  I am so desperate for Him.  I need thee every hour second.

Be encouraged moms!  God is with you.  HE gave you these children.  He called you to this great purpose.  And he will equip you.  And, if you are the child of a very human mother, maybe this year, for Mother's Day, you could show her a little grace.  Because so much grace has been extended to all  of us.  We have ALL been forgiven so much.  And God draws us to repentance with his kindness, his love and his grace.  So, if you know a mom that could use a little of that this weekend, maybe it's your own mother, extend it to her.  Spread a little heaven on earth for a mom this weekend.  We could all use it, for while this is a beautiful and rewarding calling, it's not always an easy one.

Today

Today, I am thankful.

Today, I am thankful that Anna's extra long nap threw off our schedule, so that Ella and I ended up eating our lunch in the car, while parked at the grocery store.  She loved sitting in the front seat with me to share our lunch.  And she chattered away...and for once there was nothing to distract me so I chattered away with her.

I am thankful that I had the time this morning to take Aidan's hands in mine and pray with him before he went to school...that he would have a good day, and be a light in the darkness, and point others to Jesus.

I am thankful that every time Anna sees me from across the room, not only does she smile, but she kicks her feet and waves her arms, and if I start coming towards her, she starts laughing.  Pure joy.

I am thankful that Ella pretends my book light is a cell phone...

...and she used it to call God...

...and told Him she really likes his dancing.

I am thankful that Ella helped unload and put away the groceries today...without being asked.

I am thankful that Ella was a perfect angel in the grocery store...that was never the case just a year ago...hey, this parenting stuff really works...if you keep at it, and never give up.

I am thankful that while we were waiting in the LONG line at the grocery store, Ella said, "I am frustrated that we have to wait!  I'm going to tell God." 

I am thankful that after telling God she was frustrated, Ella sang, "I told God I'm frustrated and he said, 'be happy,' so now I'm Haaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppppy!!"

I am thankful that Ella loves to find new ways to make her baby sister laugh...and always makes me laugh in the process.

Mostly, I am thankful that I get to be here for all of this...and not somewhere else...hearing about all this from someone else.  I'm thankful that we're making this one income thing work...even though insurance is going up (again), and groceries are going up, and gas is going up and the paycheck is staying the same (again)...I'll leave all that up to God...I'll just call him, tell him it's frustrating, and then, I'll be happy...happy to be here, raising my kids and filling them with good things.  Today, I am very thankful.

Right Now

Right now, both of my girls are asleep.  The back door is open and the birds are singing.  And I am just sitting here, writing this.  I should be making the bed or picking up toys or wiping down the bathroom sinks and potties...or washing/drying/folding/hanging/ironing laundry...or working on dinner/dessert for tonight or vacuuming or any one of the zillion other things that need to get done today.  But, both girls are asleep.  That means, no one is climbing/crawling/nursing on me.  No one is asking me questions...or needing me to get them anything...there are no cartoons on...it is quiet and peaceful, and I haven't had quiet or peaceful in far too many days.  I am sitting here looking at my peach trees, listening to the birds, and I don't want to move.  I know that at any moment, one of the girls could wake up...and then it will take me 3 times as long to do any one item on my list than it would if I got up and did it right now.  But, it's quiet, and I'm tired, and I need just a minute to sit here...at least for right now.  Maybe in a minute I'll get up and tackle my list, but for right now, I am staying right here.

 ...stand still and consider the wonders God works.

Job 37:14

Old Pudding and Dirty Laundry

As I write this, I have a dirty pan from lunch, still sitting on the top of the stove.  I have a load of sheets that I put in the washer on Friday that are still there.  I will probably have to rewash them.  My bed is not made, and there is a breast pump on my night stand.  Ella's half eaten chocolate pudding is on the counter.  There are crumbs on the floor under the kitchen table, even though I moved the entire table and swept under, and then mopped it on my hands and knees just two days ago.  You can't really walk in Ella's room, and there are dirty clothes on Aidan's bed.  There are tooth paste splatters on the mirror in the kids' bathroom, and some dried toothpaste in the sink.  My pantry needs to be organized, the recycling needs to be taken out...our Christmas decorations are in boxes that are STILL sitting in our living room (hint, hint, Mark).  Our television has finger prints on the screen...as a matter of fact, the computer screen I am looking at right now, also has finger prints on it.  It's not that we don't clean it up, but it's a struggle to get it all done, and then keep it that way.  Especially with a newborn.  But that's not why I'm telling you this.

I'm telling you this, because I want everyone to know right up front, that my house gets this way sometimes.  Especially on the weekends, when we're busy...or during extremely busy and stressful weeks like the one we just had.  Most of you have never seen my house this way, because I go to great pains to make sure everything is cleaned up before anyone ever comes over...because until now, I would have never wanted you to think that my house gets this way sometimes. 

The problem is, there have been many times when I would have liked to invite someone over for coffee or lunch and I haven't...because the house was like it is right now, and I lacked either the time or the energy to make it look perfect.  There have been lots of Friday or Saturday nights when Mark has said, "Lets see if so and so wants to come over and play games or watch a movie."  And, I have said no...not because I didn't want to hang out with so and so, but because I was too tired to make the house presentable. 

But not anymore.  From now on, I am having people over...even if my house is a mess...so you might as well know now, so you won't be surprised (or disgusted) if you come over.  Sometimes my house is not perfect...not even close.  Because, this week we lost a dear friend.  And, I keep thinking how sad it is that he'll not walk through that door anymore...not for our life group, not for dinner, not for a party, not to watch a baseball game...and it makes me sad.  And I think about all the times we haven't invited people over because the house was a little messy...a few dirty dishes, a little dust...and it makes me even more sad.  I think if Dan and Linda rang my doorbell right now, I wouldn't care one bit about the dishes, or the laundry or the fingerprints.  That's not to say that I think keeping a neat house isn't important...I will still fight that battle.  I will still tackle the laundry every day, do the dishes and wipe down the bathroom sinks every day.  I will still make the kids clean their rooms and put away their toys.  But, if life gets busy...and a few messes get away from me...I'm still inviting my friends over...so please don't mind the mess....my door is always open.

Thankful

Lately, I've been feeling very thankful for all the blessings in my life.  I've had several periods of being overwhelmed by God's blessings for me.  It's a good place to be. 

Here are just a few of the things I have been feeling especially grateful for recently:
Last night, Mark and I took the kids out to eat in honor of the anniversary of our first date.  As we sat there with our 3 beautiful children, I felt in awe of it all.  It all started with that first date, and now we have this sweet little family.  My heart is filled to overflowing just thinking of it. 

After eating, we went to Lowe's just to look around.  If I had known when I was younger that I would one day think going to Lowe's was a fun night out, I would have cried!  But we enjoy going and looking and planning projects for our house (that may or may not get completed!).  Last night we bought another bird feeder and looked at fruit trees.  We looked at materials for building a fire pit, and the kids and I looked at vegetable seeds and contemplated having a garden.  It was a really sweet family time and I felt very grateful the whole time we were there.  I loved that my husband just had to get the last platform feeder that was there...it looks like a porch swing, and Mark hung it in our tree as soon as he got home.  I am thankful to be married to a man that loves what I love.

I remember when I was little, every time I spent the night with my grandmother, she would get into bed at night and say, "I'm so thankful for my bed.  Lots of people don't have a bed to sleep in tonight."  I thought of her last night when I finally went to bed...aching and tired, I was very grateful for my bed last night, and grateful that my grandmother set an example of being thankful for what we have.

In the middle of the night, Anna woke up to eat.  I was so tired.  I could hardly keep my eyes open.  But, when I reached into her bed to pick her up, she gave me a big gummy smile, and I melted.  It was all worth it for that smile.  I held her long after she finished eating, with her little head against my cheek, breathing in her sweet baby goodness.  I thought about how fortunate I was to have her, even at 4:00 in the morning.  How many  people out there are longing to hold a baby of their own in their arms.  God is good.

In the morning, Aidan was up and dressed long before I even got up.  He was excited because he was riding his new bike to school by himself.  I could tell he felt older...he was carrying himself differently.  And, as I watched him ride down the street on his bike without ever looking back, my heart filled with pride and gratefulness for this boy.

After I went inside, I sat at the table drinking my coffee and watching the birds at our feeders, and thought about how good this life is that we've built together, God has lavished upon us.

And later, Ella and I sat snuggled up together in blankets on the couch watching cartoons.  She wasn't feeling well, so she was particularly snuggly.  I loved having her there by my side, safe and warm.  I thought about how abundantly God has poured out his love on our family.
God has been teaching me about contentment lately.  I am so glad I have been able to step back and see what I have and enjoy it all.  I have a good life.  I don't have everything I'd like to have, but I have everything that matters, and for that, I am grateful beyond words.

By Faith....

I haven't posted much lately.  I have resolved to try to do better.  My pregnancy and subsequent newborn have kind of stolen all my mental energy of late.  But, I've also been pretty heavy hearted lately, and it's always more difficult for me to write from that place...a little too personal, I guess.  This past year has been a difficult one for many sweet families that are close to us.  We have many friends struggling with unbearable losses, illnesses, difficult marriages, financial problems and on and on.  My heart is broken and pained for my sweet friends, and I want so badly to be able to alleviate some of the pain and some of the struggle for them.  It is frustrating at best and agonizing at its worst.  My spirit knows that God is sovereign.  He has a plan.  He knows better than me.  He works all things together for good.  But, frankly, my flesh wants to stomp its feet and pout and scream, "that's not fair!"  And it's not fair...and it's not right.  God never intended this for us...this fallen, broken, ugly world. 

This morning, while struggling with all this, God sweetly laid Hebrews 11 on my heart...the "faith chapter" to those in the church crowd.  One, that you read so much that sometimes its meaning is lost...until you sit back and truly digest what it means.  I've read it over and over this morning, letting it be a soothing balm to the knot of pain that's been gnawing at my chest today. 

Hebrews 11 reminds us that it is not this world we're living for anyway...it is for things unseen.  I am shifting my focus, "being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see...looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God...persevering because we see him who is invisible."  I am "admitting that I am an alien and stranger on earth...looking for a country of my own...a better country, a heavenly one."  And to my friends, who find God's peace in the midst of unbelievable circumstances, and who proclaim His goodness even in the middle of excruciating pain, "the world is not worthy of you."  I admire your faith and am honored to know you and serve God along side of you.

The Gift of Loneliness

I'm not exactly sure when I first felt it.  I know it's only been recently that I've been able to give it a name.  I know this feeling has been with me as long as I can remember...even as a young child.  It has never been overwhelming, or even really a depressing thing, and I would hate for anyone to feel sorry for me because of it.  As far back as my memory can reach, I've had this sense that I don't quite fit in, I don't quite belong, that I'm often misunderstood...that there's no one else that sees things in exactly the same way that I see them.  This feeling that no one else perceives things in exactly the way that I do or experiences things the way I do.  It's a melancholy feeling...like a sadness, but not a deep sadness that prevents me from enjoying and loving my life...just a sense that I can't really describe.  The best word I can use to label it is loneliness. Have you ever felt that?  Even when you're surrounded by dear friends and loving, supportive family?  An aching or a longing that you can't explain?  I have this feeling that there is so much more to my mind, my heart, my soul than any person could ever fully know.  That feeling can make me feel awfully alone sometimes. 

Lately, God has been teaching me that he put that place in my heart...that melancholy void.  He put it there, because it is what drew me to Him in the first place.  And, it is what keeps me turning back to Him again and again.  Because, he does know.  He knows every layer, every facet of my being.  He has been with me...even when I was hidden in my mother's womb.  He knew what I would become.  He knew how I would rebel and sin and mess up.  He was there for every sad and hurtful moment.  He felt with me what I was feeling.  He knew how it impacted me.  When it's hard for me...He gets it.  He was also there for every joyful moment.  He was there every time a dream was achieved and for every longing fulfilled.  And he got that too...not just what it means to everyone else, but what it means specifically for me.  He gets it.  He gets me...fully.  Nothing is hidden, there are no secrets, and He loves me.  Really, really loves me.  Even more, he delights in me.  And he joyfully gives me the desires of my heart...the real desires, not just Dollar Store junk I think I want, but beautiful invaluable treasures that I don't even realize I want...because he knows me. 

So, that feeling that's been with me?  I'm thankful for it.  It has kept my heart tethered to the only One that can ease it.  And, when the feeling gets to be too much?  I know I've strayed too far.  It's time to go back..to the One who has  adored me...to the One I am learning to adore more and more each day. I'm so grateful for a love like His.  Who can even fathom it? 

O God, you are my God,

earnestly I seek you;

my soul thirsts for you,

my body longs for you,

in a dry and weary land

where there is no water.

I have seen you in the sanctuary

and beheld your power and your glory.

Because your love is better than life,

my lips will glorify you.

I will praise you as long as I live,

and in your name I will lift up my hands.

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

Psalm 63: 1-5

Cleaning Closets

I have less than 6 weeks to go before the big day!  Nesting has kicked in full force.  Yesterday, I cleaned out the linen closet.  I also cleaned out the closet that Ella and the baby will share.  Actually, this is the 3rd time I've rearranged that closet.  I think I finally have it the way I want it!  Recently, I've also reorganized all of my kitchen cabinets.  Up next, is my closet and drawers, the coat closet and the utility room shelves.  Wow, that makes me tired just to think about it...but I am compelled to do it.  Pregnancy makes you do crazy things!

What I hate about organizing closets is everything gets a whole lot messier before it gets better.  I hate that I can work all day on something, but when you look around, it looks like I've done nothing.  For me, the best way to clean a closet is to drag everything out of it.  Then, I put back only what is necessary and figure out what to do with the rest.

I've been gearing up for some spiritual closet cleaning too.  Eight months of pregnancy has a way of knocking you off track.  It's easy to think about only yourself when you don't feel well.  It's easy to skip being in the Word and prayer.  Somewhere between the 4 months of nausea, lower back aches, sleepless nights and the total lack of energy, I've lost focus on some of the more important disciplines...devoting time to God's word, prayer, focusing on things more eternal.  It's easy to justify.  With a very small amount of energy, it's tempting to go into survival mode...just do the things that absolutely have to be done...the laundry, the dishes, the kids.  When exhaustion rears it's head, it's easy to waste hours unengaged...on activities that don't really require anything from me.  But that leaves my mind feeling cluttered and out of sorts...much like the closets I've been cleaning.  And thinking about adding those things that really matter back into my life just makes me tired.  When should I do it?  Get up early?  Stay up late?  I'm much too exhausted for that.  My "closet" is too cluttered to shove one more thing in there.  It makes me feel frustrated, and tired.

So, what's the answer?  I guess, I'll drag everything out.  I'll take a hard look at everything and ask the hard questions.  Do I need this during this season of my life,or should I toss it?  Should this have a prominent place or maybe a much smaller one?  Can this go in someone else's closet for a while?  Then, I'll put back only the things I need...time with God, precious time and energy devoted to my children and husband, more serving...less complaining, less media, more being actively engaged...less shutting everything out...less TV, more sleep...fewer negative words, more encouraging words.  I'll choose prayer over Facebook, and engaging with my kids over Pinterest (ouch!).  I'll go to bed early instead of watching one more TV show.  I'll take better care of myself so I can take better care of my family.  When energy and time are low, it's important that I choose to do only what is most needed.  Just like when arranging Ella's tiny closet...only the essentials can stay.  There's no room for anything else.

What I hate about closet cleaning is how messy the process can be.  But, what I love about closet cleaning is how much better you feel when it's done.  Less exhaustion, less anxiety, less feeling overwhelmed.  I love opening a clean, well-organized closet.   No more opening the closet, trying not to really look at it, shoving something in and slamming the door before it all comes crashing down.  I can breathe a little easier and feel a little lighter. 

So, between now and when the baby arrives, I'll not only be cleaning physical closets, but the closets of my heart and my mind as well.  Because when a closet contains only what is important, only what truly matters, then you can more fully enjoy it and utilize it.

I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back.
^15-16So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it.   Philippians 3:14-16 (The Message)

34 Things I Know:

1.  A little appreciation goes a long way.  We're all trying to figure out what in the world we're doing and if we're doing it right, so when someone notices, it makes a huge difference.  It works for everyone...bosses, friends, family, children and especially husbands.

2.  Take grumpy children and place them in water...any kind of water...bathtubs, swimming pools, sprinklers.  Works every time.  (Don't hold them under or anything, just let them play and relax.)

3.  If my kids are in a stage of being grumpy, whiny, clingy, or just down right mean, it usually means I am not spending enough one on one time with them...schedule a date immediately.

4.  If I am in a stage of being grumpy, whiny, clingy or just down right mean, it usually means I am not spending enough time with my Father...schedule a date immediately.

5. You should not buy off-brand graham crackers, Grape Nuts, or dishwashing detergent.

6. Bad boys are overrated.  You know that "mysterious" quality that makes a boy seem so "bad" to begin with??  It's selfishness.  There, mystery solved.  Move on to someone more deserving of you.

7.  Oxi-Clean will get out old milk stains that you didn't know were in your baby's clothes, until after you have stored them in the attic for 4 years.  Yep, it gets out 4 year old milk stains.  Love that stuff.

8.  Kids like cartoons with obnoxious songs.  Accept it.

9.  One of the best things you can do to help your kids in school?  Read to them...a lot...from the time they are old enough to sit in your lap.  Trust me...it works.

10.  Comparing what you have with what others have is a sure way to be miserable.

11.  Being thankful for every blessing you have been given is a sure way to find joy.

12. Use things, love people...not the other way around.

13.  If your mother says something that infuriates you, she's probably right, and you probably already know that.

14. Being rebellious is not always a bad thing.  Jesus was rebellious.  Rebel against injustice and low standards.

15. Honesty is amazingly refreshing.

16. The world measures success by how much money or attention something gains.  But, real success is measured by how many people something affects in a positive way.

17. Kids like toys that allow them to use their imagination.  These are usually the most inexpensive toys.  If a toy does everything for the child (you know, the expensive ones) they will play with it exactly 3 times, become bored with it and bury it in their closet...but then swear it is their most favorite toy ever in the whole world if you try to get rid of it.  Save your money...and your closet space.

18. Kids just want to make you happy.  If they find that nothing makes you happy, when they are teenagers they will switch to just trying to make you miserable.  Hey, some emotion is better than no emotion, right?

19.  As bad as it sounds, it is good for people to experience some disappointment and pain.  It is good for people to struggle.  Anyone that tries to always protect you from all negative experience and emotion does so to your detriment.

20.  The world could use more people of real courage.

21.  I am blessed with lots of people that love me and that I love in return.  My parents, my husband, my kids...but as much as I love them, there is only ONE that has been there, every moment...seen every tear cried in secret, laughed along with me, protected me when I didn't even know I needed it, blessed me beyond measure, had a plan for me...a plan to give me abundant life, heard every thought (even the bad ones), known every insecurity and where it came from...and loved me with an everlasting love in spite of all of it...and THAT is the person that has my whole heart and all of my devotion.

22.  I am responsible for my own happiness.  Whenever I start looking to someone else or something else to make me happy (or blaming them for my unhappiness), I'm the one with a problem, not them.

23.  God is good.  All the time.  I can never be more fair or loving than He is.  If I start to think I am, I need to get a new perspective.

24.  We take ourselves too seriously.

25.  We don't take God seriously enough.

26.  If your kids aren't paying enough attention to you, act like you're trying to talk on the phone.  You will become the center of their world.

27.  Be predictable when disciplining your children and unpredictable while having fun with them.

28. It takes two to argue.  If you're right, you'll still be right even if you don't argue.

29.  You can live on a lot less money than you think you can.

30.  Not having everything you want leads to a lot of self-reliance and ingenuity.  If I had a lot of money, I never would have known that Mark can fix a water heater and leaky pipes, and I can fix an ice maker and get 4 year old stains out of baby clothes.

31.  Always pay cash up front.  Always.  Debt is bad.  I'll say it again, debt is bad.  If God hasn't provided the means for you to buy it without going into debt, you probably don't need it.

32. Your day will go better if you make your bed as soon as you wake up.  It just does.

33. One load of laundry each day...no more, no less.  Wash it, dry it, put it away...resist the urge to do more.  It will change your life.

34. The last 34 years have been full of God's blessings and provision.  He has never let me down...not once.  It's always been an adventure, and I can't wait to see what's next!  Happy birthday to me.  :)

Me, 34 years ago!

Resolution

I was very excited last week when I found out that I had won a signed copy of the new book The Resolution for Men.  This book was written as a companion to the new movie, Courageous.  We got the book last night, and it is meant for men, but I couldn't resist taking a peak (I did win it, after all!).  I have not read the whole thing yet, but my initial reaction is that I wish every man that is important to me would read this book.  I think it would encourage them and give them a renewed sense of purpose.  The introduction describes the book as "an unapologetic call for men to live courageously for their faith and for their families."  What I love about what I've read so far is that it emphasizes the importance of fathers.  Our culture has been de-emphasizing that importance for a long time.  Have you watched a kids' TV show lately?  All of the fathers are morons.  I think men will be encouraged to see that, guess what...you are vitally important to the health and well-being of your children.  Even children that grow up with strong, godly mothers, will suffer if there is not a strong presence of their father.  That is not to take away from the importance of mothers, it just shows that maybe God knew what he was doing when he designed the family to have a mother AND a father.  According to the book, kids that grow up without their fathers are 20 times more likely to go to prison!  Girls that grow up without their dad are less secure and more likely to be sexually active as a teenager...often having more babies that don't have dads.  It's a vicious cycle.  Can you imagine the potential revolution in our culture if dads would step back up and take on the roles that were always meant to be theirs in the first place??  There is so much good stuff in this book, I could never detail it all here.  But, what I love is that is encouraging and challenging, with lots of practical things dads can do to take back their leadership role.  It is not a beat down to read, it doesn't leave you feeling discouraged or overwhelmed.

What has me more excited is there is also a Resolution for Women.  It is written by Priscilla Shirer (which is who I won the book from).  She is starting a book study on her blog at the end of this week.  I will be grabbing a copy as soon as I can so I can participate.  Her blog is linked on mine if you want to check it out.  I am excited to read the book.

And, if you need further proof of my rampant, uncontrollable ADD, the reason I was going to post today was to share this verse (which I read in the Resolution book last night):

 If the Arameans are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the sons of Ammon are too strong for you, then I will come to help you.  Be strong, and let us show ourselves courageous for the sake of our people and for the cities of our God; and may the Lord do what is good in His sight.  (2 Samuel 10:11-12).


I just loved this verse.  It wasn't a very familiar one to me.  I love the sense of teamwork and the call to be strong and courageous.  There is so much at stake these days, Christians need to work together and be courageous...for our communities and for our families.  Anyway, it spoke to me, and I thought it might speak to you too.

Have a great week...and let me know if you check out either of the books I mentioned...I would love to hear your take on them.

The Fear of the Lord

If my children learn one thing from me, I hope they learn to fear the Lord.  I don't want them to be afraid of Him, but to revere Him...to realize his great and awesome power, to know He holds their very lives in His hands, to be in awe of His goodness.  And this is why:

The fear of the Lord:

is the beginning of knowledge (Proverbs 1:7)

adds length to life (Proverbs 10:27)

is a fountain of life and turns a man from the snares of death (Proverbs 14:27)

teaches a man wisdom (proverbs 15:33)

leads to life...a contented life, untouched by trouble (Proverbs 19:23)

brings wealth and honor and life (proverbs 22:4)

is a sure foundation for your times
    a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge (Isaiah 33:6)

a help and a shield (Psalm 115:11)



People who fear the Lord:

are delivered by the angel of the Lord (Psalm 34:7)

lack nothing (Psalm 34:9)

have the eyes of the Lord upon them, are delivered from death and kept alive in famine (Psalm 33:18-19)

are the confidants of the Lord (Psalm 25:14)

are guarded, lifted up, protected, never alone in trouble, delivered and honored by God, blessed with long life and salvation (Psalm 91:11-16)

have the Lord's love and righteousness with them and with their children's children (Psalm 103:17)

are blessed (Psalm 112:1)

have no fear of bad news and a secure heart, will triumph over their foes (Psalm 112:7 & 8)

have their desires fulfilled and are saved (Psalm 145:19)

are delighted in by the Lord (Psalm 147:11)



What beautiful promises the Lord has for those that fear him!  I pray my children are counted among those that fear the Lord.

I Hope:

Dear Aidan, Ella and New Lovely Baby that is yet to be named,

I hope that you grow up to be very happy...and not the "I have a great career/family/clothes/toys/house" kind of happy that you see on TV.  But the kind of happy that is not dependent on circumstances, and certainly not dependent on material things.  I hope you have that deep, peaceful joy that you sense in some people...a quiet spirit that draws people to you and to Christ.  I hope you have the kind of happiness that comes from knowing, without doubt, that no matter what hand life deals, you are resting in the arms of your creator.

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength."  Philippians 4:12-13


I hope that you love people.  Really, really love people.  Nothing would make me more proud of you than to see you devote your lives to loving each other, and to loving other people.  It is why we are here.  As you get older you will see that people spend their lives searching for happiness and fulfillment.  They are constantly running to and fro trying to make themselves feel good.  It is all in vain.  I will tell you a secret, my sweet babies, you will never, ever feel as fulfilled as you will when you are showing love to others.

"A new command I give you:  Love one another.  As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."  Luke 13:34-35


I hope that you will be totally sold out for Christ.  I hope you follow hard after him.  What adventures you will have!  He is never boring!  When following Him, there is always a miracle, or a surprise just around the corner.  Everything else you work to obtain in this life will pass away.  It will wind up in a dump some day or a garage sale.  What you do for Christ will last for an eternity.  There is nothing sweeter than to know God and to be known by Him.  Sometimes, he will ask you to do hard things...things the world won't understand...things you won't understand.  Follow Him.  You will be so glad you did.  Don't live the way our culture tells you to live.  Choose the path less taken!  You won't be sorry.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.  What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ--the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."  Philippians 3:7-9


I hope that you won't believe the lies the world tells you...the ones that say you have to look a certain way or be a certain way, or have certain things to be acceptable.  I pray that you live for an audience of one.  God is the only person you have to please...not your friends, not me, not your dad...only Him.  Be men and women after God's heart.  That is how I hope you measure your success.

"The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."  1 Samuel 16:7


Finally, I hope that some day you will be listening to a sermon, or singing a worship song, or reading your Bible and you will come across a loving attribute of God that speaks to your heart.  And I hope that you will think to yourselves, "yeah, I get that.  I understand that kind of love because that is how my mom and dad loved us."  I hope we have been good examples to you of loving parents, so that you will always be able to grasp the character of God.  I know we haven't been perfect, like God, but I hope we've given you a good start into knowing your Heavenly Father who loves you.

And one last thought:

"Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again:  Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.  Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you."  Philippians 4:4-9


Love,
Mommy

Power Not Fear

School is back in session!  I miss my boys.  :(  I feel so blessed that our whole family gets to be together for the summer.  I know most families don't have that luxury.  It is such a great time for our family.  I especially love how Aidan and Ella get to bond more with their daddy, and how closely bonded they became over the summer.  They were thick as thieves, playing in their bedrooms every day.  Some days they were campers and hikers, some days they were orphans (living in a closet), some days Ella was the mommy and Aidan was the baby...they built a fort almost every day.  I love that they are making sweet memories that will bind them together throughout their lives.  I got really sad last week thinking about Aidan going back to school.  It just seems so odd for him to be somewhere else all day long.  He's my helper, and I miss him when he's not here.  Ella misses him too.  She cried when we dropped him off yesterday.  And for most of the day she kept saying, "I want him back."  Me too!  I know we'll get used to it, but it seems pretty awful to get used to someone not being here.  I'm missing Mark too.  I am so blessed to have the kind of husband that takes great care of me.  He kept things running smoothly at the house and helped me keep it "show ready" all summer...not an easy task when we're all here ALL day.  Mostly, I just miss having a grown up to talk to!

As I was processing all of these "going back to school" emotions last week, God laid something on my heart that has really changed the way I think about sending Aidan back to school.  I wanted to share it with you, maybe it will give you some insight too.  See, we had trouble with Aidan at the beginning of summer. He was getting a little bit of a smart mouth on him, and not always obeying the first time.  It was nothing terrible, but more than we were willing to accept from an 8 year old for sure!  But, as the summer progressed, he matured so much.  He turned back into the sweet, loving boy we adore.  He started helping out more without being asked.  He started treating his sister kindly and really having fun with her.  I feared that when school started again, we would lose all the progress we made over the summer.  I've also been discouraged lately about all the influences in the world that we have to protect him from...tv, movies, music...they all seem geared at making kids grow up too fast.  I was really struggling with this and fearful about it.  I was feeling overwhelmed.

Then God started speaking.  Isn't it funny how when God starts speaking all those feelings of being overwhelmed and afraid, just fade?  It started when I read a quote online somewhere (I will try to find who said it...but it escapes me at the moment).  It said, "I don't want my kids to just survive the world.  I want them to change it."  God whispered to my heart when I read that quote.  I spend a lot of time thinking about how to help my kids survive this world...watch out for this, don't do this, do this...and not nearly enough time teaching them how to change it.  And when I really started thinking about it, I realized that most Christians are not aware of the power we have available to us.  Why would we ever be worried about anything?  God really started dealing with me on this idea.  Protecting our kids and warning them about potential pitfalls is important.  After all, we have an enemy that prowls around like a lion, seeking someone to devour(1 Peter 5:8).  They need to realize that.  But we need to also teach them that this shouldn't make them feel afraid.  Because while the Bible does talk about what we need to watch out for, it spends a lot more time talking about what we should be doing...how we should be using God's power that lives inside us to change this world.  When I read my Bible, there are warnings there about what to be careful about, but there are also verses like this:

"For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does.  The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.  We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."  2 Cor. 10:3-5


and this one:
"Pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.  That power is like the working of his mighty strength."  Ephesians 1:18-19


and one of my favorites:
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7


I don't know a lot of Christians that live like they have a spirit of power.  I think the world has beat it out of us sometimes.  I want my kids to be different.  Because the other thing that God revealed to me was that if I teach them about that power...teach them how to tap into it...they'll be hooked.  And all that other stuff...the inappropriate music, the tv shows, the friends that try to lead them astray...they won't want anything to do with it.  Once you've felt just a little bit of that power...the power of really loving someone, the power of making a difference for someone, the power of overcoming fear and insecurity...you don't ever want to walk away from it.  I want my kids to be so busy doing what God has for them, that they have no time for anything this world may have to offer.  Then, they will be fulfilled.  Then, they will change the world.

"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world."  1 John 4:4