Homeschool

Wow!  What a crazy, awesome week this has been.  We started homeschooling for the first time on Tuesday.  Aidan is in 4th grade, and I am doing preschool with Ella.  I don't know who learned more this week, me or the kids.  I learned so much about them...their learning styles, what they already know and about myself...my teaching style, my strengths, my weaknesses.  It has, at times, been great, amazing, scary, frustrating, and exhausting.  But, overall, I am really excited that we're doing this.  I've already figured out some things I'm going to keep doing, and some things that just don't work. 

I have had to constantly keep in mind my reasons for doing this.  Lots of people ask me, "so, why are you homeschooling?"  And, I never know what to say.  A lot of people home school because their kids are not flourishing in public school.  Aidan did great in school.  A lot of people home school because they worry about the influence of other kids at school.  This was certainly a concern of ours, but mostly those experiences have been great teachable moments about why we have the values we have, why we believe what we believe and what it means to be in the world, not of it.  I'm sure there are tons of other reasons too...but none of the typical responses matched up with what prompted me to make this decision.

I guess the short answer would be, God asked me to.  As third grade progressed, there were many times I felt God prompting me that it was time for Aidan to come home.  The long answer would be...
1. I want to reignite Aidan's natural curiosity about the world and excitement about learning.  School had turned this into drudgery.
2. I want to integrate our values and our faith into everything Aidan does...instead of having it compartmentalized into "school," "church," etc.
3.  I want to expose Aidan to a great variety of experiences so that he can discover what his gifts are, what his passions are and what God has for him to do.

So, this week, I had to check my "public school teacher" self at the door.  I had to work hard to find that perfect balance between high standards (Aidan seriously acted like I had 2 heads for demanding correct capitalization, punctuation and spelling!) and keeping it fun and engaging.  And all the while, I had to balance this with feeding the baby, working with the 4 year old, doing laundry/dishes/cleaning/meal prep, etc.  Wow!  It's a lot...but it's working, and it's amazing.

My greatest gift this week...hearing my kids encourage each other in their work, watching them make up games and play them during our "recesses," and spending lots of quality time together.  Don't get me wrong...they also had moments of fighting like cats and dogs, making unbelievable messes, etc.  But, let's not dwell on that.  :)

The kids even came up with a "school" mascot...we are the Jaguars.  We have a little stuffed jaguar that does school with us and will go on all of our adventures with us.  Speaking of adventures...I joked with a friend last week that I am like a teacher on speed...this is what we have coming up in the next 2 weeks:  making a paper mache model of the earth, making a salt map depicting the regions of Texas, visiting the Texas wild exhibit at the zoo, Baseball camp, Farm camp, writing letters to Major League Baseball teams (and hoping they send us some free goodies), a tour of Ranger Ballpark, and possibly a camping trip to Gonzales to see a reenactment of the battle that started the Texas Revolution. 

Just writing that makes me want to go to bed.  Pray for energy and stamina for me!

First Day of School :)

Today

Today, I am thankful.

Today, I am thankful that Anna's extra long nap threw off our schedule, so that Ella and I ended up eating our lunch in the car, while parked at the grocery store.  She loved sitting in the front seat with me to share our lunch.  And she chattered away...and for once there was nothing to distract me so I chattered away with her.

I am thankful that I had the time this morning to take Aidan's hands in mine and pray with him before he went to school...that he would have a good day, and be a light in the darkness, and point others to Jesus.

I am thankful that every time Anna sees me from across the room, not only does she smile, but she kicks her feet and waves her arms, and if I start coming towards her, she starts laughing.  Pure joy.

I am thankful that Ella pretends my book light is a cell phone...

...and she used it to call God...

...and told Him she really likes his dancing.

I am thankful that Ella helped unload and put away the groceries today...without being asked.

I am thankful that Ella was a perfect angel in the grocery store...that was never the case just a year ago...hey, this parenting stuff really works...if you keep at it, and never give up.

I am thankful that while we were waiting in the LONG line at the grocery store, Ella said, "I am frustrated that we have to wait!  I'm going to tell God." 

I am thankful that after telling God she was frustrated, Ella sang, "I told God I'm frustrated and he said, 'be happy,' so now I'm Haaaaaaaaaaaapppppppppppppppy!!"

I am thankful that Ella loves to find new ways to make her baby sister laugh...and always makes me laugh in the process.

Mostly, I am thankful that I get to be here for all of this...and not somewhere else...hearing about all this from someone else.  I'm thankful that we're making this one income thing work...even though insurance is going up (again), and groceries are going up, and gas is going up and the paycheck is staying the same (again)...I'll leave all that up to God...I'll just call him, tell him it's frustrating, and then, I'll be happy...happy to be here, raising my kids and filling them with good things.  Today, I am very thankful.

Old Pudding and Dirty Laundry

As I write this, I have a dirty pan from lunch, still sitting on the top of the stove.  I have a load of sheets that I put in the washer on Friday that are still there.  I will probably have to rewash them.  My bed is not made, and there is a breast pump on my night stand.  Ella's half eaten chocolate pudding is on the counter.  There are crumbs on the floor under the kitchen table, even though I moved the entire table and swept under, and then mopped it on my hands and knees just two days ago.  You can't really walk in Ella's room, and there are dirty clothes on Aidan's bed.  There are tooth paste splatters on the mirror in the kids' bathroom, and some dried toothpaste in the sink.  My pantry needs to be organized, the recycling needs to be taken out...our Christmas decorations are in boxes that are STILL sitting in our living room (hint, hint, Mark).  Our television has finger prints on the screen...as a matter of fact, the computer screen I am looking at right now, also has finger prints on it.  It's not that we don't clean it up, but it's a struggle to get it all done, and then keep it that way.  Especially with a newborn.  But that's not why I'm telling you this.

I'm telling you this, because I want everyone to know right up front, that my house gets this way sometimes.  Especially on the weekends, when we're busy...or during extremely busy and stressful weeks like the one we just had.  Most of you have never seen my house this way, because I go to great pains to make sure everything is cleaned up before anyone ever comes over...because until now, I would have never wanted you to think that my house gets this way sometimes. 

The problem is, there have been many times when I would have liked to invite someone over for coffee or lunch and I haven't...because the house was like it is right now, and I lacked either the time or the energy to make it look perfect.  There have been lots of Friday or Saturday nights when Mark has said, "Lets see if so and so wants to come over and play games or watch a movie."  And, I have said no...not because I didn't want to hang out with so and so, but because I was too tired to make the house presentable. 

But not anymore.  From now on, I am having people over...even if my house is a mess...so you might as well know now, so you won't be surprised (or disgusted) if you come over.  Sometimes my house is not perfect...not even close.  Because, this week we lost a dear friend.  And, I keep thinking how sad it is that he'll not walk through that door anymore...not for our life group, not for dinner, not for a party, not to watch a baseball game...and it makes me sad.  And I think about all the times we haven't invited people over because the house was a little messy...a few dirty dishes, a little dust...and it makes me even more sad.  I think if Dan and Linda rang my doorbell right now, I wouldn't care one bit about the dishes, or the laundry or the fingerprints.  That's not to say that I think keeping a neat house isn't important...I will still fight that battle.  I will still tackle the laundry every day, do the dishes and wipe down the bathroom sinks every day.  I will still make the kids clean their rooms and put away their toys.  But, if life gets busy...and a few messes get away from me...I'm still inviting my friends over...so please don't mind the mess....my door is always open.

Thankful

Lately, I've been feeling very thankful for all the blessings in my life.  I've had several periods of being overwhelmed by God's blessings for me.  It's a good place to be. 

Here are just a few of the things I have been feeling especially grateful for recently:
Last night, Mark and I took the kids out to eat in honor of the anniversary of our first date.  As we sat there with our 3 beautiful children, I felt in awe of it all.  It all started with that first date, and now we have this sweet little family.  My heart is filled to overflowing just thinking of it. 

After eating, we went to Lowe's just to look around.  If I had known when I was younger that I would one day think going to Lowe's was a fun night out, I would have cried!  But we enjoy going and looking and planning projects for our house (that may or may not get completed!).  Last night we bought another bird feeder and looked at fruit trees.  We looked at materials for building a fire pit, and the kids and I looked at vegetable seeds and contemplated having a garden.  It was a really sweet family time and I felt very grateful the whole time we were there.  I loved that my husband just had to get the last platform feeder that was there...it looks like a porch swing, and Mark hung it in our tree as soon as he got home.  I am thankful to be married to a man that loves what I love.

I remember when I was little, every time I spent the night with my grandmother, she would get into bed at night and say, "I'm so thankful for my bed.  Lots of people don't have a bed to sleep in tonight."  I thought of her last night when I finally went to bed...aching and tired, I was very grateful for my bed last night, and grateful that my grandmother set an example of being thankful for what we have.

In the middle of the night, Anna woke up to eat.  I was so tired.  I could hardly keep my eyes open.  But, when I reached into her bed to pick her up, she gave me a big gummy smile, and I melted.  It was all worth it for that smile.  I held her long after she finished eating, with her little head against my cheek, breathing in her sweet baby goodness.  I thought about how fortunate I was to have her, even at 4:00 in the morning.  How many  people out there are longing to hold a baby of their own in their arms.  God is good.

In the morning, Aidan was up and dressed long before I even got up.  He was excited because he was riding his new bike to school by himself.  I could tell he felt older...he was carrying himself differently.  And, as I watched him ride down the street on his bike without ever looking back, my heart filled with pride and gratefulness for this boy.

After I went inside, I sat at the table drinking my coffee and watching the birds at our feeders, and thought about how good this life is that we've built together, God has lavished upon us.

And later, Ella and I sat snuggled up together in blankets on the couch watching cartoons.  She wasn't feeling well, so she was particularly snuggly.  I loved having her there by my side, safe and warm.  I thought about how abundantly God has poured out his love on our family.
God has been teaching me about contentment lately.  I am so glad I have been able to step back and see what I have and enjoy it all.  I have a good life.  I don't have everything I'd like to have, but I have everything that matters, and for that, I am grateful beyond words.

34 Things I Know:

1.  A little appreciation goes a long way.  We're all trying to figure out what in the world we're doing and if we're doing it right, so when someone notices, it makes a huge difference.  It works for everyone...bosses, friends, family, children and especially husbands.

2.  Take grumpy children and place them in water...any kind of water...bathtubs, swimming pools, sprinklers.  Works every time.  (Don't hold them under or anything, just let them play and relax.)

3.  If my kids are in a stage of being grumpy, whiny, clingy, or just down right mean, it usually means I am not spending enough one on one time with them...schedule a date immediately.

4.  If I am in a stage of being grumpy, whiny, clingy or just down right mean, it usually means I am not spending enough time with my Father...schedule a date immediately.

5. You should not buy off-brand graham crackers, Grape Nuts, or dishwashing detergent.

6. Bad boys are overrated.  You know that "mysterious" quality that makes a boy seem so "bad" to begin with??  It's selfishness.  There, mystery solved.  Move on to someone more deserving of you.

7.  Oxi-Clean will get out old milk stains that you didn't know were in your baby's clothes, until after you have stored them in the attic for 4 years.  Yep, it gets out 4 year old milk stains.  Love that stuff.

8.  Kids like cartoons with obnoxious songs.  Accept it.

9.  One of the best things you can do to help your kids in school?  Read to them...a lot...from the time they are old enough to sit in your lap.  Trust me...it works.

10.  Comparing what you have with what others have is a sure way to be miserable.

11.  Being thankful for every blessing you have been given is a sure way to find joy.

12. Use things, love people...not the other way around.

13.  If your mother says something that infuriates you, she's probably right, and you probably already know that.

14. Being rebellious is not always a bad thing.  Jesus was rebellious.  Rebel against injustice and low standards.

15. Honesty is amazingly refreshing.

16. The world measures success by how much money or attention something gains.  But, real success is measured by how many people something affects in a positive way.

17. Kids like toys that allow them to use their imagination.  These are usually the most inexpensive toys.  If a toy does everything for the child (you know, the expensive ones) they will play with it exactly 3 times, become bored with it and bury it in their closet...but then swear it is their most favorite toy ever in the whole world if you try to get rid of it.  Save your money...and your closet space.

18. Kids just want to make you happy.  If they find that nothing makes you happy, when they are teenagers they will switch to just trying to make you miserable.  Hey, some emotion is better than no emotion, right?

19.  As bad as it sounds, it is good for people to experience some disappointment and pain.  It is good for people to struggle.  Anyone that tries to always protect you from all negative experience and emotion does so to your detriment.

20.  The world could use more people of real courage.

21.  I am blessed with lots of people that love me and that I love in return.  My parents, my husband, my kids...but as much as I love them, there is only ONE that has been there, every moment...seen every tear cried in secret, laughed along with me, protected me when I didn't even know I needed it, blessed me beyond measure, had a plan for me...a plan to give me abundant life, heard every thought (even the bad ones), known every insecurity and where it came from...and loved me with an everlasting love in spite of all of it...and THAT is the person that has my whole heart and all of my devotion.

22.  I am responsible for my own happiness.  Whenever I start looking to someone else or something else to make me happy (or blaming them for my unhappiness), I'm the one with a problem, not them.

23.  God is good.  All the time.  I can never be more fair or loving than He is.  If I start to think I am, I need to get a new perspective.

24.  We take ourselves too seriously.

25.  We don't take God seriously enough.

26.  If your kids aren't paying enough attention to you, act like you're trying to talk on the phone.  You will become the center of their world.

27.  Be predictable when disciplining your children and unpredictable while having fun with them.

28. It takes two to argue.  If you're right, you'll still be right even if you don't argue.

29.  You can live on a lot less money than you think you can.

30.  Not having everything you want leads to a lot of self-reliance and ingenuity.  If I had a lot of money, I never would have known that Mark can fix a water heater and leaky pipes, and I can fix an ice maker and get 4 year old stains out of baby clothes.

31.  Always pay cash up front.  Always.  Debt is bad.  I'll say it again, debt is bad.  If God hasn't provided the means for you to buy it without going into debt, you probably don't need it.

32. Your day will go better if you make your bed as soon as you wake up.  It just does.

33. One load of laundry each day...no more, no less.  Wash it, dry it, put it away...resist the urge to do more.  It will change your life.

34. The last 34 years have been full of God's blessings and provision.  He has never let me down...not once.  It's always been an adventure, and I can't wait to see what's next!  Happy birthday to me.  :)

Me, 34 years ago!

Catching Up...

I've been really busy since Thanksgiving.  I've been very tired lately and couldn't figure out why, but upon review it might have something to do with the fact that I have had 2 sick kids that couldn't/wouldn't sleep, 4 doctor's appointments...some for them, and some for me...I'm planning 3, yes 3 parties right now and getting ready for Christmas.

The kids were both sick last week.  Aidan missed 3 days of school, and had a ton of make-up work.  Second grade has certainly changed since I was in school.  Aidan is doing really well in school.  He excels in math and reading.  I've noticed lately that he is growing in maturity and responsibility too...probably because he's about to turn 8!  I'm really not sure how that is possible, but I guess there's nothing I can do about it.  I've tried to strike a deal with him to turn 5 instead of 8, but he says he would have to go back to Kindergarten and would be the biggest Kindergarten student in the history of the world.  Apparently, that's a problem...so no deal...he's turning 8 whether I like it or not.

Which leads me to 2 of the parties I'm planning.  Tomorrow night Aidan is having a camping party.  We made tent invitations that were pretty cute...not as cute as they could have been if I had more time and resources, but pretty cute nonetheless.  Mark is going to set up our tent in the living room for the kids (everyone cross your fingers that it will fit).  The kids are going to roast hot dogs over the fire pit.  We've planned a treasure hunt with clues to find bags of camping gear, a fishing game, a "feed the bears" game, and a "search and rescue game" in which the kids dive into a tent filled with balloons and try to find prizes.  Yesterday I cut out 50 fish shapes and glued/decorated them for the fishing game.  I also blew up 50 balloons.  Today, I'll be drawing a giant bear...no small feat.  I am creative in a lot of ways...but drawing, eh...not so much.  Luckily, 8 year olds are easily impressed.

I'm also planning Aidan's Christmas, I mean, winter party for next Friday at school.  It amuses me that you can't call it a Christmas party even though Christmas is a federal holiday, and we're not fooling anyone, it's Christmas!  But, whatever, I'll save my rants on the foolishness of political correctness for another time!
For the winter party, we are doing a snowman race, in which the kids use toilet paper, mittens, hats, etc. to dress up someone on their team as a snowman.  We're making reindeer antlers, using outlines of the kids' hands.  Then, we're having Rudolph relay races...the kids have to use vaseline to attach a red circle to their nose and run to the finish line without it falling off.  I think it will be really fun.  I wish I could take credit for these ideas but they came from my friend Nancy.

Ella is really excited about Christmas this year.  She walks around hugging her Christmas presents.  She'll say, "You got a present for ME?  Thank you so much."  I can't wait until she gets to open them.  She also says, "Christmas is going to bring me a pig in a little tea cup!"  She is so cute.

Speaking of Christmas...we are completely finished shopping for our kids.  We just have a few gifts to buy for other people.  I love being able to relax and focus on something besides shopping and crowds.
I've been working on my holiday baking.  We'll be giving baked goods to teachers, neighbors, co-workers etc.  This year, I'm making chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter blossoms, pumpkin bread, white chocolate banana bread, fudge and caramel pecan clusters.  Yum.  I'm adopting the Blue Bell philosophy...eating all I can, and I'll give away the rest.  I saw a church billboard that said, "we come to resemble that which we love."  Which is why I'm starting to resemble a big blob of cookie dough.

Finally, Mark and I have started reading Francis Chan's book, Crazy Love together.  We haven't gotten very far, because most nights we crawl into bed and die of exhaustion, but what we have read is awesome.  We're talking serious awesomeness.  I can tell it's going to be one of those books that changes you.  If you've got some time over the holidays you should get a copy and check it out.

Well, I was going to post some Thanksgiving pictures here today, but since this has turned into the longest rambling post in the history of blogging, I will close now and save the pictures for another day.

Family

I love this picture:

Not only was this picture taken in one of my favorite places...Pagosa Springs, CO...it also has a few of my very favorite people in it.  They are my family.  The people in this picture are family...they love each other. Grandchild, pawpaw, brother, sister, daddy, daughter, son...family.  Yes family, even though, with the exception of Ella, no one in this picture shares one bit of genetic material.  That's right, not one ounce of DNA is shared among any of these boys.  Yet, they are family just the same.  


I'm so thankful that real family has nothing to do with genes or chromosomes.  Real family has everything to do with love...and devotion...and commitment.  It's the people who tell you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear.  Family consists of the people you want to call when something goes right and the first to show up when something goes wrong.  They are the people on which you can depend.  


So, maybe these guys don't share the same eyes, or the same hairline, or any other genetic characteristic. But, they wholeheartedly love each other and take care of each other.  They are family.  I am so grateful that they are MY family.

Random Randomness

Wow, I have really been in a blogging slump lately.  It's not that I haven't had anything to write about, I've actually been thinking of lots of potential posts.  The trick has been finding time to sit down and think them through and write it out.
Anyway, lots has been on my mind.  I've had lots of thoughts lately, none of them that I've had time to really develop.  So, here are some random tidbits...some of which may turn into a more detailed post later.

Occupying most of the space in my mind lately has been my friend Dan and his family.  Dan was diagnosed with melanoma.  Whether you know him or not, I plead with you to follow their story.  I don't know how it is going to play out, but I know that God is sovereign and regardless of what is in store for Dan and Linda, they will bring glory to God through this journey.  That's just the kind of people they are...that's the kind of faith they have.  I cannot adequately describe how special this family is.  So, follow their story on Caring Bridge and I promise, you will be blessed.   And while you're at it, if you could send up tons and tons of prayers for them, I would be eternally grateful.

On another note, I haven't really shared this with anyone yet, but I am writing a Bible study for kids.  I think.  I'm really just trying to take it in whatever direction the Lord leads.  At first, I was writing it on fear for kids Aidan's age.  I am really wanting resources for my kids that teach them how to go to the word of God to deal with problems in their lives.  So, I've been researching lots of scripture on fear.  The more I study it, the more I'm drawn to the concept of Fearing the Lord.  So, this Bible study on fear in general, may be morphing into a Bible Study on the Fear of the Lord.  And, while I really want to have this resource for my own children, and I love working with children, and know a lot about children, I'm also feeling pulled to work with women and possibly write something for women...so we'll see.  Living (or trying to at least) your life in total submission to God is a lot of things...scary, exciting, confusing...but never, ever boring!

Christmas is coming up and I just want to encourage everyone to slow it down this year...take it all down a notch.  We, unfortunately...or fortunately, depending on how you look at it...are very strapped for cash this year.  The money for Christmas just isn't there.  And, we are committed to paying off our credit card debt and not adding anything to it (on a side note...we haven't used a credit card in a year!  yea!!), so if there isn't cash to pay for it, it's not happening.  Can I just tell you how freeing this is??  We had a garage sale last week, and that combined with a little bit extra we've set aside is all we have to spend for Christmas.  That's it.  Our kids will have plenty...not as much as some...but that's okay.  It feels so good. No more worrying about it...we'll go shopping this weekend, and then, we're pretty much done...except for a few odds and ends here and there.  The rest of this season will be spent going to see Christmas lights, drinking hot chocolate and just spending time together and making Christmas memories.

This song, by Amy Grant has been running through my mind and bringing me a lot of peace lately.  I'm just really in love with idea that our God is big enough for our questions and loves our honesty more than our Sunday School answers.

Well, I've got more to say, but not enough time right now...Aidan is going on a cub scout camp out tonight with my dad, and Ella is spending some one on one time with my mom.  (I am doing a joyful dance and singing the praises of my parents right now...not really, but it has been a LONG LONG LONG time since we haven't had either of the kids for a WHOLE night...if that doesn't deserve a hallelujah, I don't know what does.)  So, I've got to get both of them packed up.

The Ghost of Pumpkin Patch Past

We went to the pumpkin patch with the kids last night.  This is one of mine and Mark's favorite family traditions.  In fact, someone told me the other day that their kids, who are not much older than Aidan, had outgrown the pumpkin patch.  Seriously?  How do you outgrow the pumpkin patch?   I've got news for our kids, as long as you live under our roof, you're going to the pumpkin patch.  ;o)  I don't care if you're 18.

Our trip to the pumpkin patch last night, made me reminisce about our first trip to the pumpkin patch when Aidan was one.  Good memories...that I will gladly share with you!

Look at those cheeks!

Have you ever seen anything sweeter?

My sweet boys

Pumpkins!

And now...this year...6 years and one silly sister later:

On the Pumpkin Express

Goofballs

She's 2 pumpkins tall!

Love Him!

Her feet aren't even touching the ground!

I think we're going to have to get one of these see-saws for the backyard!

I love it when nice strangers offer to take a family shot for us!

Around Here

What's been going on in your home lately?  Around here, we've been celebrating fall.  We kicked it off with my birthday party.

I predicted that this picture wouldn't turn out well!  At least I'm smiling.

Me with 2 of my cutest birthday party guests

Aidan has his costume all ready for Trick or Treating...he wanted to be something really scary and gory...this was our compromise...scary enough for him, but not too gory and disgusting for me:

The Unknown Phantom...yes, that's really what the costume is called

I love fall, because the cooler temperatures revitalize my roses and other flowers.  These make me happy:

This year, Aidan found "the perfect pumpkin that is the perfect color!"  I think he did a great job.

What do you think?

These guys seem to like it:

Aidan and I got a very exciting surprise the other day.  We were so excited that we called our entire family to tell them about it, and spent a good 45 minutes looking at it.  What was the surprise that had us all a twitter, you ask?  Well, see for yourself:

That's right, acorns!  For the first time ever, our red oak tree is covered with lots and lots of cute little acorns.  I know, we are easily amused.  Acorns make me happy.

If you are the mother of a little boy, you will understand that it is not unusual at all to find an octopus floating in your guest bathroom sink.  This also makes me happy.  I love my little boy.

Ella graduated from her toddler bed to these cool bunk beds, thanks to my mom's garage sale picking skills:

So, that's what's been going on around here lately.  I'll close with a warning.  Never let your 7 year old boy dress your 2 year old girl, or this may happen to you:

You've been warned!

I Love...

...snuggling on the couch watching a funny movie with my favorite little boy.

...watching my kids play together all morning.

...having my little girl take my face in her hands and sing, "you'll never know how much I love you."

...pumpkin bread and melted butter.

...cool breezes blowing through open windows.

...the sound of my kids giggling in the backyard.

...hearing Ella call Aidan her "favorite boy."

...popcorn and cartoons under soft blankets on the couch.

...that my life has been so richly blessed beyond what I ever could have imagined.

Writer's Block

I have writer's block.  They say the best way to cure writer's block is to just write something...anything.  But, that's just goofy, because if you had something to write about, you wouldn't HAVE writer's block.  But, I haven't updated this thing in several days...so I'm updating...even though I have nothing interesting to say (you may think that's what I do every time I update the blog...haha!)

So let's see...what to say??

I took Ella and Cooper to the post office and the car wash today.  To hear their excitement, you would have thought I took them to Disney World.  Which is fine with me, since today's outing cost a total of $4.58, and Disney World would be more like $4,058.  Speaking of the post office, I refuse to buy books of stamps.  They always look at me weird when I just want enough stamps to mail the 2 or 3 things I need to mail that day.  But, I have this theory that every time I buy an entire book of stamps, the price of a stamp goes up the next week.  And, they don't print the price on them anymore, so you never know which stamps you have...are they from 2 price hikes ago, or 3?  It's very confusing.  I'm doing everyone a favor by not buying stamps...because now they won't raise the price again.  I tried explaining all this to the postal worker today that tried to sell me a book of stamps, but she just looked at me like I was nuts.  Maybe I am.  It didn't help that both Ella and Cooper were spinning in circles singing weird songs that they made up.

What else?  Hmmm...got a whole van load of "new" toys for the kids yesterday.  My cousin decided it was time to part with all of her childhood toys and my lucky kids got to be on the receiving end of that.  We got a kitchen for the patio, a toy washer/dryer/ironing board combo, a Fisher Price grocery store and a post office...all kinds of stuff, I don't even remember what all we got.  But, the kids have been playing with it non-stop since yesterday.  To hear their excitement, you would think we had a Toys R Us shopping spree. Again, that's fine with me, since that would have cost about $1000, and this cost us a big fat nothing.

We've all been sick all week...lots of runny noses and yucky coughs.  Mark and I have almost completely lost our voices. It hasn't been very fun.  I'm not a fan of being sick.  =(  I especially don't like it when my little people are sick.  Cooper is staying with us today, because he's been sick.  We're just one big, sick, happy family.

Aidan has his rain gutter regatta tomorrow for cub scouts.  Last year, he was the champion of all the tiger cubs.  He's hoping for a repeat this year.  I think I am more nervous about it than him.  I know he won't always win everything, and it's good for him to learn to lose well, but inside, I want him to win so bad I can hardly stand it.  I can't stand for that boy to be disappointed!

Looks like we may finally get some fall weather next week...at least fall-ish.  I can't wait.  I love crisp mornings and crisp evenings.  I think we'll spend lots of time at the park next week.  Maybe we'll make a trip to the zoo.

Ella seems to have mastered the whole potty training fiasco.  It only took her a few days to really get it down.  I figured out with her, I had to act like it didn't matter to me one iota if she used the potty or not.  If I acted too excited or too anxious, she was going back to diapers for sure.  She definitely has to do things on her own terms...or she's digging her heels in and you can just forget it (don't tell anyone, but she just may have gotten that from me).

I guess I better end this rambling mess.  I need to go do my time on the tread mill.  I borrowed one from my parents, thinking I would be more likely to do it if I could do it at home.  I wish I liked exercising.  But, I don't.  There.  I said it.  I don't like exercising at all.  It's kind of stupid.  And, it's a waste of time.  All I can think about is all the other things I could be doing if I wasn't exercising.  Sometimes I find it a little annoying when people like to exercise (if you like to exercise and you're reading this, I don't mean you).  Seriously, why would you like it?  I know there's the runner's high and all that nonsense about energy...but, can't you just drink a coke?  Then, you don't get all sweaty and have to shower again...more wasted time.  But, I struggle with vanity and I want to be skinny again...pre-Ella skinny.  So, off to the treadmill I go.  If you stayed with this post this long, I'm sorry...you probably should have stopped long ago and done something more productive, like exercise.

I Miss You

   As I was falling asleep last night, I realized that in one more year, I will have officially lived longer without my grandmother than I lived with her.  Isn't that a strange thing to think about?  I was very close to my grandmother.  We stayed many summers with her, and almost every weekend.  She is so much a part of who I am and my personal history, I can hardly believe I lived one moment without her.  Me without her, my family without her, is hard to comprehend, even now.  Yet, the moments keep coming, and time will not stop.  Doesn't it seem like the world should screech to a halt when someone wonderful to you dies?  But, it doesn't.  You say goodbye, and you go on, but something precious is gone, at least for now.  For the rest of my days on earth, I will live with a longing...longing to see her, to go back in time and hear her voice, touch her face, watch her hands at work.  It's the same longing I feel for my kids when they were babies.  Sometimes, I long to kiss their sweet baby faces and listen to their little baby noises.  But, those days are gone and I feel the ache in the same place I mourn the loss of my beloved grandma.

    Grief is such a strange process.  I believe God allows us to feel it in phases, so we're not completely overwhelmed with it all at once.  It surprises me the things I miss about my grandparents, and the things that make me think of them.  It could be a smell, or a song, or the way the breeze blows the curtains.  It only takes something little to bring me back to them...to their house, to my childhood, to that warm place of feeling completely safe and loved and cherished.  That's what's great about grandparents.  They make you feel cherished.  I think of my grandmother daily.  I think of her when I look at my kids, and when it's her birthday, all the times you would suspect.  But, I think of her at other times too...times that won't make sense to anyone but me.  I think of her when I eat watermelon or peel a potato.  I think of her when I fidget with a kleenex and roll it around my finger.  I think of her when I sing a hymn or hear a verse from the King James Bible.  I think of her when I hear a good joke.  I think of her when I eat blackberries or okra or green apples.  I miss her when I see paper dolls and when I sew.  I think of her when I open the freezer and see a frozen chicken (Looong story!).  I think of her when I see Indiana Jones with his whip (another interesting story).  Birds, breezes, cool days and rain all make me miss her.  Petunias, Four O' Clocks, Bachelor Buttons, sea shells and cactus gardens also make me think of her.  When I dust her piano, I think of her saying, "don't use too much spray!"  (If I was anything like Aidan, she had to tell me that because I would use half a can of spray on one piece of furniture!)  Wheel of Fortune and that weird hippy painter guy on TV remind me of her too.  In fact, I'm not sure if there are any of my childhood memories that don't involve her in some way.

     By far, my favorite memories are from when we would stay up long after everyone else had gone to bed and talk...about my friends, or school, or her childhood, or God and faith.  I had a lot of anxiety when I was a kid, and I often couldn't sleep.  She would sit with me in her brown recliner until I was able to fall asleep.  I miss her comforting presence.  I miss her soft eyes, her hands, her voice and her laugh.  It will be a happy day when I see her again.