I Miss You

   As I was falling asleep last night, I realized that in one more year, I will have officially lived longer without my grandmother than I lived with her.  Isn't that a strange thing to think about?  I was very close to my grandmother.  We stayed many summers with her, and almost every weekend.  She is so much a part of who I am and my personal history, I can hardly believe I lived one moment without her.  Me without her, my family without her, is hard to comprehend, even now.  Yet, the moments keep coming, and time will not stop.  Doesn't it seem like the world should screech to a halt when someone wonderful to you dies?  But, it doesn't.  You say goodbye, and you go on, but something precious is gone, at least for now.  For the rest of my days on earth, I will live with a longing...longing to see her, to go back in time and hear her voice, touch her face, watch her hands at work.  It's the same longing I feel for my kids when they were babies.  Sometimes, I long to kiss their sweet baby faces and listen to their little baby noises.  But, those days are gone and I feel the ache in the same place I mourn the loss of my beloved grandma.

    Grief is such a strange process.  I believe God allows us to feel it in phases, so we're not completely overwhelmed with it all at once.  It surprises me the things I miss about my grandparents, and the things that make me think of them.  It could be a smell, or a song, or the way the breeze blows the curtains.  It only takes something little to bring me back to them...to their house, to my childhood, to that warm place of feeling completely safe and loved and cherished.  That's what's great about grandparents.  They make you feel cherished.  I think of my grandmother daily.  I think of her when I look at my kids, and when it's her birthday, all the times you would suspect.  But, I think of her at other times too...times that won't make sense to anyone but me.  I think of her when I eat watermelon or peel a potato.  I think of her when I fidget with a kleenex and roll it around my finger.  I think of her when I sing a hymn or hear a verse from the King James Bible.  I think of her when I hear a good joke.  I think of her when I eat blackberries or okra or green apples.  I miss her when I see paper dolls and when I sew.  I think of her when I open the freezer and see a frozen chicken (Looong story!).  I think of her when I see Indiana Jones with his whip (another interesting story).  Birds, breezes, cool days and rain all make me miss her.  Petunias, Four O' Clocks, Bachelor Buttons, sea shells and cactus gardens also make me think of her.  When I dust her piano, I think of her saying, "don't use too much spray!"  (If I was anything like Aidan, she had to tell me that because I would use half a can of spray on one piece of furniture!)  Wheel of Fortune and that weird hippy painter guy on TV remind me of her too.  In fact, I'm not sure if there are any of my childhood memories that don't involve her in some way.

     By far, my favorite memories are from when we would stay up long after everyone else had gone to bed and talk...about my friends, or school, or her childhood, or God and faith.  I had a lot of anxiety when I was a kid, and I often couldn't sleep.  She would sit with me in her brown recliner until I was able to fall asleep.  I miss her comforting presence.  I miss her soft eyes, her hands, her voice and her laugh.  It will be a happy day when I see her again.

Apricot Glazed Pork Tenderloin

This recipe is 3 for 3 when it comes to the most important qualities of a recipe...fast, healthy and delicious.  It takes about 30 minutes from start to finish.  I've only recently started making this, and I have had lots of requests for the recipe...so here it is:

2 Pork Tenderloins, 1 lb. each
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1 c. apricot preserves
3 Tbsp. chicken broth
1 Tbsp. Dijon mustard
2 garlic cloves minced or 1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1 tsp. fresh Thyme or 1/4 tsp. dried thyme

Preheat oven to 450 degrees
Place pork on a shallow roasting pan.
Combine the oil, salt and pepper.  Rub on the pork.
Bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, combine the remaining ingredients in a small bowl.  Spoon apricot sauce over the pork.  Bake for 10-15 minutes longer.
Serves 6
Done...and it is seriously DELICIOUS.  Kids eat it like it's candy!
Enjoy!

Letters

     It's nice to get a letter sometimes.  I love email, but sometimes a good old-fashioned letter is so much more meaningful.  Yesterday, we got a letter from someone very special, Habiyamuremye Adrien, the little boy we sponsor in Rwanda.  He is only 5 years old, so one of the project workers, had to write it for him.  He is in Kindergarten and doing well in school.  He likes to play soccer.  His household chore is to fetch water.  You should have seen Aidan's eyes when we explained that he had to go outside the home to get water and bring it back...and he's 5!  The best part was, he called himself, "our son, Adrien," and said he loved us very much.  I feel so blessed that we are able to help him in some small way.  It was so nice to get that letter yesterday.  I'll be writing to him today to let him know that we love him very much too.

The Heart of a Child

     Just before it was time to pick Aidan up from school today, it started pouring down rain.  I mean, really pouring down rain.  It was, what we call in Texas, a gully washer.  The water was running down the street so fast that it washed my trash can and recycling bin down the street.  Of course, there was no where to park, so we had to walk in the rain.  The water was well over my ankles in many places.  I was juggling 2 umbrellas and a two year old while trying to get to Aidan.  Of course, dismissal was chaotic and the kids were crazy because of the rain.  It would have been easy to be irritated.  But, then Aidan walked out the door.  He was all smiles and twinkly eyes.  He said, "Yes!  Finally, I get to use an umbrella!"  He excitedly jumped in the car and asked if he could have hot chocolate when he got home.  As soon as we got home, he ran in his room and put on his comfy pajamas, turned on the tv and asked for his hot chocolate and his snack.  The rain, after a long hot summer, was an event to be celebrated to him, not an annoyance.  Lord, help me to be more like Aidan...full of joy and wonder.  Help me to have the heart of a child.

A Tale of Two Dinosaurs

How a 7 year old boy plays with 2 dinosaurs:

The big dinosaur eats the little dinosaur after a long battle

Dino 1: "RRRRAAWAAAAAWWWERRRRRRR"
Dino 2: "GRRRRRRRRRRRRR"
The dinosaurs then run into each other, bite each other, rip out each other's throat and throw each other across the room.  There is much screaming, growling, and various other sound effects.

How a 2 year old girl plays with the same 2 dinosaurs:

The dinosaurs play in the snow

Dino 1: "Hi, I'm a big daddy dinosaur.  What's your name."
Dino 2:  "Hi, I'm little orange dinosaur.  Do you want to sing with me?"
D1:  "Sure, how 'bout "Row Row Row Your Boat?"
D2:  "Yea!"
Dinosaurs proceed to dance and sing
D2:  "Hey, I know!  Let's go play in the snow!
D1:  "Yea! I love snow."
D2:  "I love you big daddy dinosaur."
D1:  "I love you too."
D2:  "I'm sad, lets talk"
D1:  "Okay little orange dinosaur.  You're a nice dinosaur."
D2   "I feel better.  Let's sing again."

Two Dinosaur Friends

How can they be the same species?  (the kids, not the dinosaurs)

Ella Claire

It's funny to me that Ella is so small.  She's just little and dainty...especially compared to Aidan who never even landed on the growth chart because he was so tall.  What's even funnier, is she is this tiny person with a HUGE personality.  I bet God chuckled as he was knitting this one together!

Ella will be 2 1/2 next week.  I find that hard to believe, since I'm positive I just had her.  I am still recovering from my pregnancy with her, so how can she be blazing toward 3 years of age?

Here are a few Ella stories for your amusement.

The other day, she decided to call me Jenny instead of mommy.  We don't know anyone named Jenny, and as far as I can remember there is not anyone named Jenny in any of her favorite cartoons or movies.  But, she decided I was Jenny and she called me by that name all day.  If I referred to myself as "mommy," she would say, "you're not mommy, you're Jenny."

Today, we were at the grocery store.  I was looking at something in the freezer section, and she was standing next to me chattering away, as usual.  A woman was standing nearby and Ella walked up to her and said, "Hi, I'm Ella."  The woman said hi back, and then Ella said, "I'm lost."  The woman was concerned until I looked up and informed her that I was indeed her mother and she was not lost.

Our little firecracker with a sparkler in Colorado

When we got home from the grocery store, I made Ella some Safari Animal chicken nuggets for lunch.  These come from the part of the chicken that looks like a giraffe.  Ella had a couple of giraffe shaped nuggets, an elephant and a lion.  She bit off all their heads.  When I asked little Ozzy if she wanted to eat the rest of her nuggets, she said, "no, I don't like their bodies."  Imagine a bowl full of little chicken nugget animal bodies covered in ketchup.  It wasn't pretty.

Ella's newest vocabulary word is "catty-wampus."  Her pants and her shirt have both been "catty-wampus" this week.

If Ella sees a man she doesn't know she calls him "mister."  It could be our waiter at a restaurant, someone at the park or grocery store.  She will walk up to them and say, "Hey mister, I'm Ella Claire,"  "see you later mister," and "what's that mister doing?" or "where'd that mister go?"

If you call Ella anything other than her name, she will promptly correct you.  It goes something like this:
"You're so pretty."  "I'm NOT pretty.  I'm Ella Claire."  Or, "you're so sweet."  "I'm not sweet!  I'm Ella Claire."

If Ella wants you to do something and you tell her no, she'll say, "try it, you'll like it."  She's mastered peer pressure already!

She talks to "monsters" that no one else can see.  We'll be walking through the house, usually it's in my bedroom, and she'll say, "hi little monster, what are you doing?"  She never acts like she's scared, so I guess whatever she sees is okay.

It's never boring around here with Ella.  She has us laughing all day long.  I can't wait to find out God's purpose in giving her such a BIG personality!

Easy Taco Casserole

This casserole is so easy and yummy.  It's one that kids and grown ups alike will enjoy.  I'm not sure I've ever seen Mark get quite as excited about a meal as he got about this one!

Ingredients:
1 1/2 lb. ground beef
1 envelope of taco seasoning
1/3 c. water
1 can refried beans
1/2 c. salsa
6 flour tortillas
2 c. frozen corn, thawed
2 c. shredded cheddar cheese

1. Brown ground beef, drain
2. Stir in taco seasoning and water.  Bring to a boil.  Reduce heat.  Simmer about 15 minutes
3. Meanwhile, mix beans and salsa.  Heat in microwave about 2 minutes
4.  Place 3 tortillas on the bottom of a round 2 1/2 quart baking dish
5. Layer 1/2 of the beef, beans, corn and cheese
6. Repeat layers, ending with cheese
7.  Bake at 350 degrees for 40-45 minutes
8.  Serve with sour cream, tomatoes, shredded lettuce, avocado and/or extra salsa if desired